Use the custom ArduinoISP on the code page. The modification made is for the baud rate to be 19200. I've found that the Arduino ISP utterly fails to work at the default rate of 115200, and so made this modification.
Usual string for interfacing to an ArduinoISP-flashed Arduino:
avrdude -c avrisp -p m168 -P com4 -b 19200
Use the ladyada tutorial for flash reading/writing and fuse work.
